13969104_2007030511254229773400.jpg ¡¡¡¡ ¡¡¡¡Spokesman Jiang Enzhu speaks during the first press conference on the Fifth Session of the Tenth National People's Congress (NPC) which was held at the Great Hall of the People in Beijing March 4, 2007. [Xinhua] ¡¡¡¡ ¡¡¡¡The country has no intention of engaging in an arms race, although its military spending inches up as a result of economic growth, a legislative official said yesterday. ¡¡¡¡ ¡¡¡¡The State Council, or Chinese Cabinet, has p...
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?" ...
One day a lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his flashing lights. She thought to herself, "Uh-oh, what have I done now? I'm not speeding. I'm not drinking. I have my seat belt on! I have kept up my license dues and everything!" So, she pulled over and ...
A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim." The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
We do not advise following any of the below driving rules to any extent. Driving should be taken seriously at all times. The below jokes are simply here for entertainment purposes. When using a metered entrance ramp, vehicles in the carpool lane do not need to stop. Similarly, vehicles NOT in the diamond lane also do not need to stop. If, at any time, you have witnessed a green light, it is okay to proceed through the intersection, regardless of the current color of the light. The ...
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here ...
A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place. "Yes?" "Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have...
AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented All Un-informed Drivers Insulted All Unnecessary Devices Installed BMW Big Money Works Bought My Wife Brutal Money Waster BUICK Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time DODGE Dumb Old Dirty Gas Eater Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere FORD Fix Or Repair D...
One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man: "Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get down this train in Mannheim, but I'm very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep. So what I want you to do is that you wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it is very important for me. Here you have 100 francs for the favor. But I warn you sometimes when people wake me up I get really violent, but n...
13865183_348397.jpg ¡¡¡¡"Lu Da Gong" (a Beijing-style dessert), is translated into "rolling donkey" on the menu of some restaurants. ¡¡¡¡ 13865183_200701090951578465700.jpg ¡¡¡¡"Ma Po Dou Fu" (one of the most famous Sichuan dishes) is translated into "beancurd made by a pockmarked woman" on the menu of some restaurants. ¡¡¡¡ ¡¡¡¡BEIJING, Jan. 8 -- Many foreigners complain that they are often puzzled and even startled by the menu when they dine in Chinese restaurants, saying the awfu...
JINAN, Jan. 7 (Xinhua) -- More than 759,230 suspects were convicted in China in the January-November period last year, while a relatively small number -- 1,464 people -- were found innocent, according to supreme court statistics released on Saturday. The convicted number rose 4.3 percent from the same period in 2005, and crime cases handled in courts also grew to 593,020, 1.6percent higher than a year before, the official statistics shows. Among the convicts, 276,479 people comm...
'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn't argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried. When out in the yard the dog started barkin', I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin....
Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elf-abet! Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas? A: "I don't like sprouts" ! Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? A: Missletoe! Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite. Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed? A: Because he had low elf esteem. Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens? A: So he can ho-ho-ho. Q: Where do polar bears vote? A: The North Poll. Q: ...
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say," "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mo...
BEIJING, Dec. 20 (Xinhuanet) -- Want to see a 60-year-old actor beat the hell out of a world heavyweight boxing champion 40 years his junior? 11020310_1166583780603_1.jpg Sylvester Stallone, star of the film "Rocky Balboa," poses with actress Talia Shire (center) who plays his wife in the Rocky movies, and his wife Jennifer Flavin at the premiere of the film in Hollywood section of Los Angeles Wednesday, Dec. 13, 2006. Photo Gallery >>> Sure you do. And moviegoers and crit...